I thrive in the predictable

Thriving on rhythms
Predictable patterns help
Free me from stresses


Chaos stresses me, for good and for ill. Looking back, I once believed I was adventuresome. Now, I see my delusion. Joining the Navy wasn’t radical. Well, I was born in a Naval hospital. There was nothing more known to me. Interesting this notion, embedded within my skull, that this adventure seeker persona was what I was supposed to be. Thus I always presented myself that way. Certainly believed that I was. Now I’m pleased with my domestic persona. That I’m stable, steadfast and sturdy. Funny that my career is full of change elements. And unsought for ones, too. But that’s another post. 

Early MorningĀ 

Awake 

Against my will
My uncontrollable mind
Second guessing my life
Every choice open to
Ridicule

Through my open window
A lone bird’s chatter
This strange, calm click
Answers my insanity
With a call 

For tea  

Awoke by my racing mind

Resisting waking
My chaotic mind distorts
Damaging my rest 


My mind gets going, laden with fear and energy, heat building up in my scalp as the unfocused fears run unburdened by logic or balance. Unreasonable and irrational, disrupting my rest and my day. 

Reading Gary SnyderĀ 

The morning quiet

I’m reading Gary Snyder

His words speak to me

My journey overlaps his

Mountains, rivers without end


Snyder’s has long been amongst my favorites. My personal overlap with his life a big part of that. My journeys through the Pacific Northwest, through Oregon, California; life and an eclectic array of work all make me feel a spirit connection.

I need more time

Needing much more time
So much needing to be done
Hints of Autumn leaves


Life is so busy at times, it’s ready to lose focus. I forget what’s important, ending up weary. Remember to focus on what gives you energy, what gives you life. 

The Day’s End

The day’s ending here
A busy and full day done
Now to calm my mind


This started before 6:00 am and stretched until I got home a little after 10:30. A reasonably productive day, which makes me happy. But, well, that’s really long. And I’m tired. So, good night my friends.

Too early in the morning

It’s not quite six yet
Which I still find “too early”
The boy’s in high school


I’m still adapting to the high school schedule.  That will come. That will come. 

Youthful Memories: A Free Verse Meditation

Youthful memories 

Comic books
Toy ray-guns
Sunlit days 

Free of shoes
Sand covered toes

Burning echoes
Of the first-girl-I-loved’s
Bemusement
And resultant mockery 

I wonder
Why suffering
Delights us so?
Such cruelty divides us
A charred gulf bearing
Smoldering rubble
Remnants of hope


So many memories of this journey called life. Painful ones sometimes rise up, reminding me of their place in my mind, my psyche. Hints of underlying angers and frustrations, damage done.